1. I'm lazy. I don't like putting things away, especially if I know I'm going use it again. Clean clothes piled up on my dresser as a teen much to my older sister's (with whom I shared a room) dismay. Nowadays, my purses, papers, projects, notebooks, school stuff, 31 stuff, whatever I've picked up recently clogs the couch and much of the floor in front of it. I absolutely intend to use them or pick them up again and most of the time, I do. So why bother putting them away? Honestly, some things don't have a place to be put! Which leads me to my next reason...
2. No place to go. As an adult, I have come to realize that I will continue to accumulate more and more stuff. Papers are constantly coming in the mail. Kids have school papers for whatever every week it seems. I have my own business so I'm always getting packages and mailings and such with that. Plus there's toys, electronics, clothes, shoes, etc. that keep piling into the house. Eventually, I run out of room.
3. I get overwhelmed easily. If I don't know what to do with something or where to put it, I just kinda toss it anywhere because I'm too overwhelmed to deal with it. I like things to be simple and stress-free, but life isn't that way. If stuff keeps piling up, I basically choose to ignore it and I forget it's there. Otherwise, the idea of cleaning up and putting things away overwhelms me to the point of feeling defeated before I even start.
4. I'm a perfectionist. If it's not going to be done just right, I don't even bother. I know this is all a mental thing and I need to get over it. I do believe this has been a huge wall for me. I know it will take time to sort, organize, clean, put away, just the way I want it so I don't even start unless I know I have the time to do it. It must be perfect or not done at all. So.....pretty much not done at all.
5. It never stays that way. Once I go through all the work to get everything perfectly put away and organized, I expect it to stay that way. It doesn't. So, I get frustrated and, once again, I ask, "Why bother?"
I think growing up, I assumed that when I became an adult, learning to take care of the house would come naturally. I don't ever remember my mom struggling to keep our house clean. We kids had chores to do. If we were done playing, we picked up our toys. If there was company coming, we all pitched in to help get ready. Other than that, I have no idea how my mom kept the house clean. What DID she do all day while we were at school? *wink, wink*
Not being able to keep a clean home has resulted in me struggling with depression. Although I've battled it since high school, feeling like I couldn't do my job as a wife, homemaker, and mother, has worsened my depression in the last 16 years and I've been fighting to just survive in this dark cloud.
I have tried everything I could think of to improve my homemaking skills. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I get it right? My depression cycles often went along with my plans. I'd come up with a new plan of action to keep up on housekeeping and present it to the kids and my husband. We'd try it out. The first week usually went well. Then, gradually, we all started to slack off. Just a little bit...and a little more...and eventually, nothing was getting done. Feeling as though I had failed at life, I'd hide in a corner and cry for days, wondering what was wrong with me. Why had God given me a job I couldn't do...that I didn't even want?!?! Then, I'd gather myself and come up with a new plan. Thus the cycle begins again.
I finally reached a point where I just didn't care any more. I didn't care who came to my house and saw my mess. I didn't care if there was no place to sit on the couch. I didn't care if my kids' rooms were so messy that I couldn't open the door or even seen the floor. I gave up completely. I obviously was incapable of being a homemaker, so why even try?
Then someone mentioned a book. A book, that I might be able to relate to. A book that might actually help me! The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark. Could it be true? Could I have a house that cleans itself? I had to find out if, maybe, this would help me at all.
The author is a Christian woman who uses Bible verses at each chapter for encouragement. Each verse she chose truly applies to what is discussed in that chapter. She also calls herself "housekeeping impaired" and she writes to others who would say the same of themselves. Well, that is definitely me! I am so housekeeping impaired that it has impaired much of my life in general. At the end of each chapter, she includes actual stories of other people's worst messiest moments. I have found my clan! These women, including the author, understand what I'm dealing with in regards to housekeeping. I am not alone and it feels great to know that!
I borrowed this book from my sister last Christmas. I started reading it, but didn't have the time (see my reason number 4) to get things started just yet. I was still homeschooling 2 children, trying to keep my business going, and attending the school activities my son was involved in. The first thing I needed to do was figure out my home base. What is the area in my home that I must keep clean in order to function? Well, I figured my office and school area. My life was on my computer including paying bills and checking our bank accounts. If it's important, it's probably on or around my desk. I gave my office and school area a complete makeover. I got Little A's thoughts on where she would like her school desk and got everything in order.
I'm pretty sure I finally accomplished that part in July. And I don't have any pics. But that's ok...I took a lot of pics for the next part. I had to study every area of my house. I sectioned it off and numbered each area in the order I will convert them. This process included taking pics of each area in the embarrassing state it is in. As I went through the house taking pictures, I took notes on what the trouble spots are and why they were problematic. I could even go back and look at the pictures to see if there was any problems I missed.
Now, it's time to get to work. I've started on my entry way, which is crazy small, but needs work. I don't have a lot of time during the week, but I need to force myself to work on it when I do have some time. Energy has been another big issue, which I blame on my health and my weight, which I blame on my thyroid and who knows what else. All that for another blog perhaps.
I know this will take months. I want to take my time and do this right all while trying to keep the daily necessities going like making meals, doing laundry, etc. The kids also have their chores and we all have school. I think just getting started has inspired my husband to do some decluttering himself as he has gone through his main problem spots and has asked for my ideas in what to do with things.
- Just a pause to celebrate that my husband is asking MY advice on decluttering and organizing! -
So, here we go. A lot of prayer and dedication is a must for this conversion, but it will happen. I'm excited to see the results and I'm fully aware that a house that cleans itself still requires some cleaning, but it won't be the constant mess it has been.
