Homeschooling myths

Being a homeschooling family means I am very organized and patient and have it all together, right?

WRONG!!!

I am naturally a messy and lazy person.  I am very organized....in my head.  But applying that ideal plan to reality is almost always impossible.  I never account for how tired I will be, how long it will take to do some things, that children will not follow every guideline exactly how I imagine, or for unexpected distractions.  I try.  I really do try.  But, often, I feel like a miserable failure.

Growing up, I shared a room with 1 of my sisters.  Most of the time it was with my older sister.  She is the perfect first-born with every first-born quality.  I am the second-born.  My sister hated that I left a mess in our room.  My line of thinking was....if I'm just going to wear the clothes, why bother putting them away?  Same with making my bed.  I was/am comfortable with my messes.  I know what's there and how to find what I need when I need it.  It's when somebody moves something from my messes that drives me crazy because then I don't know where anything is!

 I was born 2 weeks after my due date.  It's no surprise to me that I was born so late.  When I'm comfortable, I like to stay put.  It takes great effort to move out of my spot.

My mom struggled with me because I guess I was the strong-willed child.  Whaaaaat? That one does surprise me a bit.  I have very few strong opinions.  Mostly because I don't have enough knowledge about some subjects to develop my own opinion.  I'm very much a follower.  However, when I do have an opinion, I'm very firm on it.  I guess I am strong-willed in a way because I have little self discipline when it comes to doing things I don't like.  I will do it when I feel like doing it.  I can pretty always find something else to do in order to procrastinate what I should be doing.  Unless I absolutely have to, I probably won't do something that I don't enjoy.

All of that makes homeschooling all the more challenging.  I was never great at keeping our house clean.  Even before children, it was very difficult for me.  My college dorm room, which I had all to myself, was always a mess except on inspection days or open dorms.  Like I said, I am comfortable with my own mess.  However, when I had to start picking up after other people, that's when it just became too much for me to handle. I absolutely HATE cleaning up someone else's mess.  It is often too overwhelming for me to even start.  So, with that struggle constantly hanging over my head, I decided my life just wasn't busy enough.  I'm sure most of you have heard the story of how I got started in homeschooling.  I was one of those people that said, "I will never homeschool.  I don't have the patience to homeschool.  There's no way I will be able to teach my strong-willed second-born daughter.  I couldn't do it.  It's great that others can; it's just not for me."  K and I often butted heads.  She's like me in many many ways.  One exception is the fact that she is a leader.  Although it's great for her, it can also make her strong-willed nature more difficult to deal with.   I didn't think we could be in the same room all day without killing each other.  I have a bit of  a short temper (it's a lot better than it used to be!).  I didn't think I could handle having my kids with me all. day. long. every. single. day.  Obviously, God lead me in a different direction than what I had planned and here I am in my 5th year of homeschooling.  Every time I hear someone say things like I had said, I just laugh.  Not out loud of course.  But I just think, "Yep, I used to say that.  You  never know."

Let's just think about what many people see as the typical homeschooling family:

Home made clothes.  Yeah, like I can sew.  I'm not sure if I can even sew on a button, even though my mom has shown me multiple times.

Healthy meals made from scratch.  I might do more cooking than some people, but sometimes I go for the fast, easy convenience foods because who has time to cook that much?!?!  I try to make sure my kids have fruits and veggies everyday.  Try.  Doesn't always happen.

Organized place to do school.  The first week of school, yes.  After that, it's more like find the cleanest room and get to work.

Always ready for company.  Not even close.  If you came by my house, I would do whatever I needed to do to keep you on the porch and not be able to see the horrendous mess inside.  And if you ever walked into my kitchen, you will never want to eat here.  This is where my laziness, tiredness, procrastination really kicks in.  I come up with a new plan every 3 months or so.  It works great in my head, but never in reality.  I do honestly become extremely tired by 2:00 no matter what I've been doing, how long I've been up, or how much sleep I've had.  By 2:00 I'm searching for some caffeine or a way to nap.  Getting anything done after that is not very likely.  If the caffeine works, then there's hope.

Well behaved children.  Ok, according to outsiders, they are generally well behaved.  However, grocery shopping trips can be a nightmare.  Or having a daughter who is almost exactly like me - excuses not to work, laziness, procrastination skills....and she plays to my sympathies.  If I'm feeling tired, she plays the "I'm too tired" card, and by 2:00, I'm too tired to enforce any rules.  My "care-o-meter" is nearly zero.  (Thanks, Amanda, for the term care-o-meter.)

Always quiet in church.  This makes me laugh.  We might be the loudest homeschooling family in our church.  This is one of the reasons why we sit in the back.  And my kids aren't even that young.  Ok, they're not so loud any more, but they can still be distracting....or be very distracted themselves.  My youngest usually has books or puzzles.  She likes to show us what she's doing or asks how to spell something.  My older 2, I'm working to make sure they are listening.  That's been a battle that has lasted a few years.  I finally told my older daughter that she is not allowed to sit with friends until she can sit and listen every week.  She thought after 2 weeks, she would be able to return to her friends.  Nope.  I told her I wanted her to sit and listen for a year.  Then, I could probably trust her to do the same while sitting with friends.  J generally doesn't have the opportunity to sit with friends, but keeping him from using his ipod for things other than his Bible has been the issue lately.

Of course homeschooling is not the easy choice.  How can I possibly keep up with dishes, meals, errands, house cleaning, laundry, and now a kid in public school, as well as church activities and running my own 31 business and still teach my girls at home?  By the grace of God.  Some days things get missed.  Some days I am just too tired to do it.  Some days the girls are uncooperative and I spend more time and energy on discipline that anything else.  Some days just don't go as planned.  But, when I give each day to God and let Him guide me through the day He's already planned for me, I can handle anything.

Some people might not understand why I am the way I am.  God does.  He understands that sometimes, I am just too tired to keep going.  He understands that sometimes, I have other priorities.  He understands that sometimes, I do fail.  That's why I have peace.  I let God take my days.  If I were to attempt my to-do list everyday only to never complete it because other things got in the way, I would drive myself crazy...probably into a deep depression...because I could never live up to my own standards.  But God gives me grace.  God knows my weaknesses better than anyone.  I am so thankful that the only person I have to worry about pleasing is God.

Kansas State Fair

We finally made it back to the Kansas State Fair this year.  The last time we went, it was 2010.  And we came home with this:

This was Sally, the bunny we bought K at the state fair.  She passed away over Thanksgiving weekend in 2011.  It was heart-breaking.

Although we had intended to return to the fair, particularly to buy a bunny for J the following year, it just didn't happen.  And with Sally's tragic demise, we never returned to buy a bunny again.  Especially since we now have a dog - a dog who is slightly bigger than Sally.  :)

We decided it was about time we made another trip to the state fair.  I have never been a fan of going to the fair.  It always resulted in exhaustion and pain because I always ended up with blisters on my feet to the point that walking was just plain agonizing.  Seth, however, grew up going to the fair and he looked forward to it every year.  And the kids do enjoy it.

Since Little A was only 3 years old the last time we went, she didn't have any memory of being there so it was all new to her.  She excitedly went running into the animal sheds and lead us all down aisles of hens, pigeons, sheep, pigs....she was seeing it all for the first time in her mind.

As we walked through the bunny aisles, I held K's hand.  We spotted a couple of Sally-look-alikes.  I was fearful that K would become emotional as we remembered picking Sally out and taking her home.  She was surprisingly fine.  I, however, had to ignore that lump in my throat.  She was a sweet little bunny.

After we had seen all the animals we could see, we looked around at art, crafts, produce, etc.  And, of course, we checked out all of the vendors.

We used to have a stroller or even a wagon with us.  It was great to put in all the stuff we left the fair with.  But this year, we chose not to bring the wagon and our kids are all too big for a stroller.  So, I had the girls bring their cinch sacs from 31 and I brought a new 31 purse and another cinch sac.  Throughout the day, we all stuffed our bags.  We ended up getting out the 3rd cinch sac to put more stuff in.  But, we actually survived without the wagon!

Of course, the kids love the rides.  They each got 22 tickets and off they went.  Little A and Seth hung out around the younger kids' rides while the older 2 and I enjoyed the bigger rides.  Well, I didn't actually get to ride, but it was sure fun watching them!

We all went on the giant slide together.  That was fun!  We also enjoyed a train ride and the sky ride as we headed back to the parking lot.  But not before we enjoyed some fair food!  I had a pulled pork sundae that included mashed potatoes, gravy, and cheese.  We always get roasted corn on the cob and the kids shared a large bag of cotton candy.  I also tried a deep fried snickers.  It's not as good as it sounds.  Unless it sounds gross to you, then I would say it was much tastier.  Let's just put it this way:  I would eat it again if offered for free, but I would chose a regular Snickers over it deep fried anyday.

How about some pics of the day?

With J in school, we had to actually try to leave by a certain time.  We left a half later than we wanted to.  I was able to walk to the car without limping because for the first time ever (I think), I did not get blisters at the fair!  It was a fun, but still exhausting day!  I'm glad we got to go.  I think going every 3 years is good.  Now to get Seth on board with that idea...

Back to school

You know how you think you're going to be sitting around all summer with plenty of time on your hands, so you plan to do a big project or two, but when summer actually hits, you have less time than you did during the schoolyear?

Yep, that was me!  Now that we've started school, I realize that none of my hopeful projects were even touched.  I can't believe how busy our summer was, but it was a great summer!  Now, school has started for all 3 of my  kiddos.  J is now going to public middle school and I will continue to homeschool the girls.

J has completed 2 1/2 weeks of school already.  He is enjoying it although the early morning as been a difficult adjustment for both of us.

All 6th graders had orientation the day before school officially started.  It was only a half day.

Since we started homeschooling, I always had in my mind that I wanted to put the kids back in public school by the time they were in middle school or high school.  I enjoyed all the extra-curricular activites when I was in school and I want my kids to have those opportunities as well.  It didn't hit me until January that J would be in 6th grade this fall, meaning middle school.  So, with a lot of praying and researching, we took that leap of faith and put him in public school. We chose 6th grade instead of 9th because everyone in 6th grade is new to the whole different classes and lockers and moving around type of format. J wouldn't be the only one trying to figure it out.  I wanted to find a school that not only suited J, but the girls, also.  We found it.  And it's fairly close to where we live, too close for a bus in fact.  Which I'm finding to be a blessing to have to take him to school every morning.  Not only do I have one-on-one time with him every morning, it also starts my day earlier and I feel more accomplished by the end of it.  It is also the same school that I would go to pick up my neighbor's daughter on occasion so I was already somewhat familiar with it.  God lead and we followed.

The girls and I finished our first week of homeschooling.  Traditionally, I start the day after Labor Day.  But, when I received their first quarter of books and compared my normal calendar with J's school calendar, I realized we needed to start a week earlier.  I got a little protest from K, but I think it worked out for the best.  Little A couldn't wait to start so she grabbed her books and did page after page after page.  She already finished her first book in her Bible curriculum out of a total of 10 books.  She was the same way last year, but I couldn't keep up with her and homeschool the other 2 at the same time, so I forced her to slow down.  This year, I might be able to let her go as quickly as she wants to...even if it means buying her 2nd grade books later in the year.

Since K really struggles in school, we've been on a search for different curriculums for her.  This being our 5th year in homeschooling, we've tried a few different ones.  Last year, we tried ACE for science with both J and K.  It was perfect for K.  J will get along great with any curriculum.  We found that ACE told stories as it taught.  The answers stuck more easily than other subjects.  And she could repeat back to me things she was learning in science without being prompted to do so.  So, we switched everything to ACE this year, except for Bible.  At the homeschool conference in 2012, I went to a seminar on working with kids with a learning disability.  We had suspicians that K was slightly dyslexic so I thought I could get some good info.  And I did.  We worked hard on helping her connect what she was seeing to translate to what she needed to write down.  It was a difficult process where I had to work more closely with her than the other 2.  We also took her to see an eye doctor who diagnosed her with .... a big long word.... and prescribed glasses.  The glasses also added to the improvement in her schoolwork.  This year, she's wearing her glasses and using what she learned through the language curriculum we got from the seminar and she is doing much better with the ACE program.

Although K is making improvements, we will have to make a decision by March whether or not she is ready for public school and join J in middle school next year.  I have told her that I may have to hold her back a grade.  I'm not sure if she's quite ready to handle it yet since she needs specific teaching methods.  She is excited to go to middle school and participate in choir, orchestra, drama, and sports so she plans to work hard this year.  There is a mentoring/tutoring program offered by the school, so we can also take advantage of that if we feel she needs it.  That will just mean less extra activities for K.

But, one year at a time, is how we've handled our children's schooling.  We now have a 6th grader, 5th grader, and a 1st grader.  This is my 5th year in homeschooling. I would have never thought this would be my life right now and I really do enjoy it.  Life is so much easier when I let God take the reigns.