Am I Grateful?

Last night, as I was going to sleep, I started praying as I often do.  Seth and I had a conversation about how cold it would be in Idaho and if the kids and I could handle it if we lived there.  We have planned on making our permanent home in Idaho or close to it; however, God has not yet opened that door.

I am pretty happy being in Wichita, though.  Our church really helps with that.  And I honestly wouldn't mind staying here the rest of our lives.  It's this house that I really hate living in.

So, as I prayed, I pointed out to God, again, that we are in desperate need of getting out of this house.  And I began to tell Him why when my mind started to wander.  Of course God knows our needs better than we do and I struggle sometimes trusting Him when He says to stay in this house for now.

Then, I suddenly became aware of something.  I was humming a song in my head and my fingers were dancing along.  I didn't realize I was "humming" anything at all.  Last I remembered, I was just simply talking to God about moving, anywhere, out of this house.  The song I was "humming" was a song I haven't heard since I was a kid.  I had sung it randomly or to my children at times, but it wasn't a song that was brought up very often.  However, God decided to bring it to my mind.

Are you grumbly hateful or humbly grateful?

What's your attitude?

Do you grumble and groan or let it be known

You're grateful for all God's done for you?

Yeah, I realized my fault immediately and asked for God's forgiveness.  Then I lied there in bed thinking about how to be grateful for this house.  There are plenty of things I could tell you without hesitation that I hate about living in this house.  But, I discovered last night, there are some pretty great things about living in this house, too.

1.  We have a shower.  I am grateful that in the one bathroom, there IS a shower!  Why is that so significant?  In the house I grew up in, the only shower in the house was a cold make-shift shower in the unfinished basement.  My dad was pretty much the only person to use it regularly.  The shower was small blocks of wood surrounding a drain with a curtain that was a bit too short to go all the way around the drain area.  The faucet handles were actually about 3 or 4 feet outside of the shower so if you wanted to adjust the temperature, you had to get out, turn the knobs, then wait for the shower to respond hoping you adjusted correctly.  We did finally get a shower in our upstairs bathroom shortly after my older sister graduated from high school.  That would mean I had just finished my sophomore year.  A shower is something I now take for granted, but I was reminded last night that it is truly a blessing.

2.  We have a mostly finished basement.  This house didn't start out that way.  We have put in a lot of work to add to our living space.  As I said earlier, the house I grew up in did not have a finished basement.

3.  Our backyard is amazing.  It's big and perfect.  It has a large tree that I absolutely love - although Seth hates it because it leaves a mess of helicopter leaves.  I personally think that every house should have a large tree in the yard.  I grew up with a huge pine tree in the front yard.  I climbed it often and once, almost made it to the top.  The tree is no longer there so I truly enjoy the large tree we have now.

4.  And of course the fact that we have a house is a blessing and something that I, too often, take for granted.  We don't have to worry about neighbors on the other side of a wall as you would in an apartment or condo.  We don't have to worry about a landlord because this house is ours.  And, we're not living on the street or in a car or in a shelter.  We own our own home.  That is huge!!

So, shame on me for begging God to get us out of this house.  I still have some work to do on not hating this house, but forcing myself to find things about it to be grateful for is going to make it easier to accept that God still wants us here for a reason.  And I trust Him.