Rest

Rest has taken on new meaning in my life.  Rest doesn't always have to be sleeping, or relaxing, or doing nothing.  Rest can simply mean taking a break from something.  Taking a break from one thing doesn't mean taking a break from everything.  Even taking a break from ONE thing can be rest.

God has made it clear that I need to rest.

The first time I heard God told me to rest was during a gallbladder attack.  My second attack.  After some research, I did a gallbladder cleanse and I'm feeling pretty good.  No surgery needed.

But, I still needed rest.

Shortly after I was diagnosed with gall stones, I attended a small event with women from my chapel.  One of the women gave a short devotion on resting, literally resting, in Jesus.  She was one of those who was always going and going and going as she served the Lord.  She found it difficult to just rest when health problems struck her.  But that's where she grew and God used that to teach her that being a Christian isn't always about serving Him, but it's taking time to rest in Him and listen to Him and just soak in His Word.

I am one of those who keeps going and going and going when I'm serving outside the home.  As I did this, my home was being neglected.  When I was home, I was stressed trying to balance homeschooling, keeping house, and serving in outside activities.  I needed to rest.

However, I was very involved in planning the Valentine banquet for our chapel.  Sometimes I'm in chrage but this year I just had to plan the entertainment.  That seems to be my specialty.  As the day grew closer, I was starting to lose it.  I could feel a cold coming on.  I couldn't think straight.  My energy levels were extremely low during the day.  Homeschooling suffered as did the house.  I was a complete mess.  I kept telling God, just get me through the banquet then I will rest.  Then I will take a break.

God wanted me to rest sooner.

The night I was to have everyone involved in the entertainment get together to practice, I became extremely dizzy.  Now, I'm no newby when it comes to dizziness.  I often got dizzy when I was younger.  I could stand up, feel the dizziness come one, even go black, but still walk straight.  That's how used to it I was.  I've come close to passing out many times and actually fainted twice.  Dizziness is almost just a regular part of life.  But this.  This knocked me down so hard I couldn't even move my head.  One little turn and the room was upside down.  I couldn't possibly direct the practice and the banquet was 2 days away.  I handed over my directions to a friend and went home.  Don't worry, I didn't drive.  Some friends drove me home.

That was a Wednesday.  On Thursday, I surrendered.  God really wanted me to take a break.  I was losing my grip on everything and I just couldn't keep that many balls up in the air any more.  So, I rested.  I didn't bother to do anything that wasn't required of me.  I didn't even dare to think about the banquet or anything that was going on in my life later.  I just took that day and rested.

Friday, I did the same.  But, not completely.  Afterall, the banquet was that night.  I rested all morning, not allowing myself to worry about the upcoming event.  Then in the afternoon, I slowly prepared.  I even prepared a possible back-up plan if I felt I couldn't be there.

Thankfully, I made it to the banquet but I refused to stress about it.  Well, I tried not to stress.  The evening didn't go quite as planned and there were things that really bothered me, but I couldn't let it take over.  Whatever happened, happened.  The most important thing, however, was that everyone enjoyed themselves and God was glorified.

Finally, the banquet was over.  I could finally take a break and rest.

Then, it hit me.  That means I have to say no to singing for Easter.  How could I do that?  I was very excited about the song we would be singing.  I also asked my daughter if she would like to sing something with me.  I started looking for songs we could do together.  But, as the days went by, I realized I couldn't this time.  I honestly and truly needed to just take a break from all outside activities that required extra effort and time on my part.  So, as difficult as it was, I had to say no.

Between the Valentine banquet and preparing for our VBS, I have about a month and a half to rest.  I'm very excited about this.  I can focus on homeschooling and keeping house and just resting in the Lord's presence.  I can take my time doing things instead of rushing through because I have to be somewhere.  My family can have my full attention because I'm not thinking about what else I have to do.  I can rest.

The difference between serving and resting is the difference between Martha and Mary.  Being a Martha isn't bad.  Being a Mary is just better.  There are certain times to be a Martha.  There is always time to be a Mary.

I will be back.  Afterall, people have made it very clear that they can't have VBS without me.  Don't worry, come April, I am diving right in.  But for now, I'm not even going to think about it.  I refuse to let future events stress me out now.  This is my time to soak in my Savior and just rest.