Towels

Every family has their own way of doing things.  So when 2 people get married, they're bringing in 2 different ideas on how to do things.  Especially if their families are very different from each other.

When my parents got married, one of the things they didn't agree on was how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste.  So, when I was about to marry Seth, I asked about his toothpaste squeezing technique.  It matched mine!  I guess that made him a keeper.  ;)

Of course, there were many other things we discovered that needed some adjustments, explanations, and compromises.

Food:  He grew up with real food, while many of the foods I grew up with came from a box.
Milk:  He grew up with whole milk, I grew up with 2%.
Butter:  He grew up with real butter, I grew up with margarine.
Bed:  He was used to sleeping alone.  He always had the bed made perfectly and would wiggle down into his covers from the top.  His head would always be way at the top of the bed because he doesn't like his feet hanging off the end.  I guess that would be an issue for a 6 foot tall man.  I, on the other hand, almost always shared a bed with one of my sisters.  I could sleep with the covers in any sort of mess.  I liked to sleep about half down the bed curled up in a ball.  That one threw us in for a loop when we first got married.  I had to make sure there was not a single wrinkle in the bed...not even on my side!  The covers had to be evenly spread.  And, I had to learn to sleep up higher on the bed so my head would still be out of the covers.

Then, there was this one thing that neither one of us understood of each other until recently.  And I mean more than 16 years after being married!

Towels.

Growing up, we took clean towels from the cupboard where they were nicely folded and stacked.  Afterward, we hung the towels so they would dry.  We would also reuse a towel before washing it so we knew which towel was the one we used before.  My mom beat it in our heads not to throw the towels down the laundry shoot while they were wet because then they would get mildewy.  Yes, that was a word in my house.

In Seth's family, however, clean towels were hung.  If you needed a towel, you would take a towel that was hanging.  And when you were finished, it went to the laundry.  No reusing of towels, no worries about mildew.  And no grabbing towels from the cupboard unless there were no towels hanging up ready for use.

As you can see, this provided much confusion.  When we visited my parents' house, Seth would always grab a towel that was hanging...assuming it to be clean.  Most of the time it was my mom's towel and in our early years of marriage, she would freak out that someone took her towel.  This led to my husband being so scared of grabbing the wrong towel, he would always ask me to find one for him.  And if he forgot to ask for a towel ahead of time....oops.  Grabbed the wrong towel again!

When we visited Seth's parents' house, I would always try to find one in the cupboard and then hang it when I was finished.  I'm not sure if someone used my towel by mistake ever because it was hanging, but I don't ever remember getting in trouble for using towels wrong.  Maybe my in-laws were upset and never said anything or they never knew that I hung my used towel in the bathroom.  I was always under the impression that Seth and his family used whatever towel was hung (and in my mind used), no matter who had used it last.  At first, I found it to be gross, but eventually started using whatever towel was hung if there wasn't a clean one in the cupboard...even at home.  Since at home, Seth would use whatever towel was hanging in the bathroom, no matter who used it last, I didn't think a used towel bothered him.

It wasn't until our most recent visit to my parents' house in September of this year, that the whole towel thing was cleared up.  My mom, now having learned that her towel is not safe from being used by Seth, set our clean, folded towels on the dresser in the room we were staying in.  Seth, still fearing he would grab the wrong towel, asked what towel to use.  I told him there were towels folded in our room specifically for us to use.  He just wanted to make sure.  When I finally explained to him how towels in my parents' house worked, he was beyond disgusted that he had always been using someone else's used towel!!!  I was confused because I thought he always used someone else's used towel.

"Ew gross!!!  If I had known that was how you did towels, I would never use the one that's hanging in the bathroom!!!  That's so gross!!!"

Well, then.  I had become accustomed to using whatever towel was there so to realize that he was grossed out by what he'd been doing for 16 years, I had to find out what his family's system was.  He then explained the towel rules in his family.

You would think that we would have realized this dilemma years ago...but who knew people would have different towel systems and routines?  So, for those of you getting married soon...or maybe those who have been married for years and have towel issues you don't understand....perhaps explaining where to get a clean towel and where to put the dirty one is a conversation you should have.

Just don't let little issues like this cause you to throw in the towel on your marriage.