Towels

Every family has their own way of doing things.  So when 2 people get married, they're bringing in 2 different ideas on how to do things.  Especially if their families are very different from each other.

When my parents got married, one of the things they didn't agree on was how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste.  So, when I was about to marry Seth, I asked about his toothpaste squeezing technique.  It matched mine!  I guess that made him a keeper.  ;)

Of course, there were many other things we discovered that needed some adjustments, explanations, and compromises.

Food:  He grew up with real food, while many of the foods I grew up with came from a box.
Milk:  He grew up with whole milk, I grew up with 2%.
Butter:  He grew up with real butter, I grew up with margarine.
Bed:  He was used to sleeping alone.  He always had the bed made perfectly and would wiggle down into his covers from the top.  His head would always be way at the top of the bed because he doesn't like his feet hanging off the end.  I guess that would be an issue for a 6 foot tall man.  I, on the other hand, almost always shared a bed with one of my sisters.  I could sleep with the covers in any sort of mess.  I liked to sleep about half down the bed curled up in a ball.  That one threw us in for a loop when we first got married.  I had to make sure there was not a single wrinkle in the bed...not even on my side!  The covers had to be evenly spread.  And, I had to learn to sleep up higher on the bed so my head would still be out of the covers.

Then, there was this one thing that neither one of us understood of each other until recently.  And I mean more than 16 years after being married!

Towels.

Growing up, we took clean towels from the cupboard where they were nicely folded and stacked.  Afterward, we hung the towels so they would dry.  We would also reuse a towel before washing it so we knew which towel was the one we used before.  My mom beat it in our heads not to throw the towels down the laundry shoot while they were wet because then they would get mildewy.  Yes, that was a word in my house.

In Seth's family, however, clean towels were hung.  If you needed a towel, you would take a towel that was hanging.  And when you were finished, it went to the laundry.  No reusing of towels, no worries about mildew.  And no grabbing towels from the cupboard unless there were no towels hanging up ready for use.

As you can see, this provided much confusion.  When we visited my parents' house, Seth would always grab a towel that was hanging...assuming it to be clean.  Most of the time it was my mom's towel and in our early years of marriage, she would freak out that someone took her towel.  This led to my husband being so scared of grabbing the wrong towel, he would always ask me to find one for him.  And if he forgot to ask for a towel ahead of time....oops.  Grabbed the wrong towel again!

When we visited Seth's parents' house, I would always try to find one in the cupboard and then hang it when I was finished.  I'm not sure if someone used my towel by mistake ever because it was hanging, but I don't ever remember getting in trouble for using towels wrong.  Maybe my in-laws were upset and never said anything or they never knew that I hung my used towel in the bathroom.  I was always under the impression that Seth and his family used whatever towel was hung (and in my mind used), no matter who had used it last.  At first, I found it to be gross, but eventually started using whatever towel was hung if there wasn't a clean one in the cupboard...even at home.  Since at home, Seth would use whatever towel was hanging in the bathroom, no matter who used it last, I didn't think a used towel bothered him.

It wasn't until our most recent visit to my parents' house in September of this year, that the whole towel thing was cleared up.  My mom, now having learned that her towel is not safe from being used by Seth, set our clean, folded towels on the dresser in the room we were staying in.  Seth, still fearing he would grab the wrong towel, asked what towel to use.  I told him there were towels folded in our room specifically for us to use.  He just wanted to make sure.  When I finally explained to him how towels in my parents' house worked, he was beyond disgusted that he had always been using someone else's used towel!!!  I was confused because I thought he always used someone else's used towel.

"Ew gross!!!  If I had known that was how you did towels, I would never use the one that's hanging in the bathroom!!!  That's so gross!!!"

Well, then.  I had become accustomed to using whatever towel was there so to realize that he was grossed out by what he'd been doing for 16 years, I had to find out what his family's system was.  He then explained the towel rules in his family.

You would think that we would have realized this dilemma years ago...but who knew people would have different towel systems and routines?  So, for those of you getting married soon...or maybe those who have been married for years and have towel issues you don't understand....perhaps explaining where to get a clean towel and where to put the dirty one is a conversation you should have.

Just don't let little issues like this cause you to throw in the towel on your marriage.

My Journey Begins

I am not a clean person.  My bedroom was a mess growing up.  My dorm was a mess in college.  And every one of my homes I lived in as an adult were messes!  I do believe there are reasons for this.

1.  I'm lazy.  I don't like putting things away, especially if I know I'm going use it again.  Clean clothes piled up on my dresser as a teen much to my older sister's (with whom I shared a room) dismay.  Nowadays, my purses, papers, projects, notebooks, school stuff, 31 stuff, whatever I've picked up recently clogs the couch and much of the floor in front of it.  I absolutely intend to use them or pick them up again and most of the time, I do.  So why bother putting them away?  Honestly, some things don't have a place to be put!  Which leads me to my next reason...

2.  No place to go.  As an adult, I have come to realize that I will continue to accumulate more and more stuff.  Papers are constantly coming in the mail.  Kids have school papers for whatever every week it seems.  I have my own business so I'm always getting packages and mailings and such with that.  Plus there's toys, electronics, clothes, shoes, etc. that keep piling into the house.  Eventually, I run out of room.

3.  I get overwhelmed easily.  If I don't know what to do with something or where to put it, I just kinda toss it anywhere because I'm too overwhelmed to deal with it.  I like things to be simple and stress-free, but life isn't that way.  If stuff keeps piling up, I basically choose to ignore it and I forget it's there.  Otherwise, the idea of cleaning up and putting things away overwhelms me to the point of feeling defeated before I even start.

4.  I'm a perfectionist.  If it's not going to be done just right, I don't even bother.  I know this is all a mental thing and I need to get over it.  I do believe this has been a huge wall for me.  I know it will take time to sort, organize, clean, put away, just the way I want it so I don't even start unless I know I have the time to do it.  It must be perfect or not done at all.  So.....pretty much not done at all.

5.  It never stays that way.  Once I go through all the work to get everything perfectly put away and organized, I expect it to stay that way.  It doesn't.  So, I get frustrated and, once again, I ask, "Why bother?"

I think growing up, I assumed that when I became an adult, learning to take care of the house would come naturally.  I don't ever remember my mom struggling to keep our house clean.  We kids had chores to do.  If we were done playing, we picked up our toys.  If there was company coming, we all pitched in to help get ready.  Other than that, I have no idea how my mom kept the house clean.  What DID she do all day while we were at school? *wink, wink*

Not being able to keep a clean home has resulted in me struggling with depression.  Although I've battled it since high school, feeling like I couldn't do my job as a wife, homemaker, and mother, has worsened my depression in the last 16 years and I've been fighting to just survive in this dark cloud.

I have tried everything I could think of to improve my homemaking skills.  What was I doing wrong?  Why couldn't I get it right?  My depression cycles often went along with my plans.  I'd come up with a new plan of action to keep up on housekeeping and present it to the kids and my husband.  We'd try it out.  The first week usually went well.  Then, gradually, we all started to slack off.  Just a little bit...and a little more...and eventually, nothing was getting done.  Feeling as though I had failed at life, I'd hide in a corner and cry for days, wondering what was wrong with me.  Why had God given me a job I couldn't do...that I didn't even want?!?!  Then, I'd gather myself and come up with a new plan.  Thus the cycle begins again.

I finally reached a point where I just didn't care any more.  I didn't care who came to my house and saw my mess.  I didn't care if there was no place to sit on the couch.  I didn't care if my kids' rooms were so messy that I couldn't open the door or even seen the floor.  I gave up completely.  I obviously was incapable of being a homemaker, so why even try?

Then someone mentioned a book.  A book, that I might be able to relate to.  A book that might actually help me!  The House That Cleans Itself by Mindy Starns Clark.  Could it be true?  Could I have a house that cleans itself?  I had to find out if, maybe, this would help me at all.

The author is a Christian woman who uses Bible verses at each chapter for encouragement.  Each verse she chose truly applies to what is discussed in that chapter.  She also calls herself "housekeeping impaired" and she writes to others who would say the same of themselves.  Well, that is definitely me!  I am so housekeeping impaired that it has impaired much of my life in general.  At the end of each chapter, she includes actual stories of other people's worst messiest moments.  I have found my clan!  These women, including the author, understand what I'm dealing with in regards to housekeeping.  I am not alone and it feels great to know that!

I borrowed this book from my sister last Christmas.  I started reading it, but didn't have the time (see my reason number 4) to get things started just yet.  I was still homeschooling 2 children, trying to keep my business going, and attending the school activities my son was involved in.  The first thing I needed to do was figure out my home base.  What is the area in my home that I must keep clean in order to function?  Well, I figured my office and school area.  My life was on my computer including paying bills and checking our bank accounts.  If it's important, it's probably on or around my desk.  I gave my office and school area a complete makeover.  I got Little A's thoughts on where she would like her school desk and got everything in order.

I'm pretty sure I finally accomplished that part in July.  And I don't have any pics.  But that's ok...I took a lot of pics for the next part.  I had to study every area of my house.  I sectioned it off and numbered each area in the order I will convert them.  This process included taking pics of each area in the embarrassing state it is in.  As I went through the house taking pictures, I took notes on what the trouble spots are and why they were problematic.  I could even go back and look at the pictures to see if there was any problems I missed.

Now, it's time to get to work.  I've started on my entry way, which is crazy small, but needs work.  I don't have a lot of time during the week, but I need to force myself to work on it when I do have some time.  Energy has been another big issue, which I blame on my health and my weight, which I blame on my thyroid and who knows what else.  All that for another blog perhaps.

I know this will take months.  I want to take my time and do this right all while trying to keep the daily necessities going like making meals, doing laundry, etc.  The kids also have their chores and we all have school.  I think just getting started has inspired my husband to do some decluttering himself as he has gone through his main problem spots and has asked for my ideas in what to do with things.

- Just a pause to celebrate that my husband is asking MY advice on decluttering and organizing! -

So, here we go.  A lot of prayer and dedication is a must for this conversion, but it will happen.  I'm excited to see the results and I'm fully aware that a house that cleans itself still requires some cleaning, but it won't be the constant mess it has been.

Summer's Last Hoorah

As summer was fast approaching, we had several options of traveling, vacationing, plans, etc.  My family had 2 separate family reunions.  One in Iowa the first weekend in July and the other in Wyoming the first weekend in August.  We hadn't seen Seth's family in 2 years and wanted to go visit, especially since there is a little niece whom we haven't met.  And it had been a couple years since we went to Ozark Family Camp at Turkey Hill.  But, one trip was our main priority - go to Branson.

June was busy as usual.  2 kids' birthdays, those same 2 going to camp 2 different weeks, plus our VBS at church.  In July, I spent some time working on my office area and getting things reorganized.

School was to start the 2nd week of August.  I checked the calendar to match school, Seth's work, and our family schedules.  Only one weekend would work for a visit to Branson - the first weekend in August.

We had already decided we wouldn't be going to the Cannon reunion in Iowa, or family camp, or visit Seth's family in Idaho.  And now it looked like we wouldn't be going to the Greenlee reunion in Wyoming, either.  Branson was our goal for the summer.  And financially the only option anyway.

Why Branson?

Well, in 2000, after I graduated from college, we were hired to work at Village Creek Bible Camp in northern Iowa.  While there, we met some great friends who later moved to Branson and opened their own shop: Grandma Ruth's Cinnamon Rolls.  It has become quite popular with the best cinnamon rolls you'll ever taste.  We sent anyone we knew to Grandma Ruth's when they went to Branson.  But, we have never gone.

The last time we saw this family was in 2004 for Grandma Ruth's and Reuben's 50th anniversary.  They were the first people we told when we were expecting our first baby.  They were there during J's first few months of life before we moved to Wichita.  We visited again the following summer and they joined us on a youth group trip to Idaho.  They got to meet K at the anniversary party.  Then we said goodbye for 10 years.

It was time to visit.  We saved money and prepared.  And we finally did it.  We got to see many attractions thanks to business connections, including Jonah, Smoke on the Mountain, and Paul Harris, the comedian.

 At the zoo we got to feed the animals, including these birds.

Me with each of my 3 joeys, 1 literally, hahaha.

They each got to pet a joey, too, among other baby animals.

One of the many shows we watched was Six.  It's an accapella group made up of 6 brothers.  They were probably my favorite show.

There was some downtime when we could swim in the hotel pool.

We took some time to go mini golfing.

Just before going in to watch Rick Thomas, the illusionist, we saw our very first woodchuck.

We spent an hour on this fun slide.

The awkward thing was coming off the slide to an audience.  Legs up in the air, arms flailing about, hair swirled around the face, and don't even mention the position of the suit....no one comes off a water slide gracefully.  LOL

We also got to visit the Titanic.  When you board the ship, you are given a boarding pass with the name and information about an actual passenger.  At the end of the tour, you would find out if you survived or not.  Little A and K were both 3rd class.  J was 2nd class.  Seth and I were both on the crew.  All of us survived.

There was a beautiful mini grand piano in one of the rooms.  It wasn't a guided tour, but there were guides along the way to give information.  One guide asked if anyone could play the piano.  I was in the background not really paying attention, but I raised my hand.  She asked if I would play.  Seriously?!?!  I don't play well under pressure, however.  I attempted 2 songs I kind of knew from memory....and didn't finish either one.  Oh, well.  It was a privilege to play.

AAAAHHHHH!!!!  We're sinking!!!!

I have done research on the Titanic and the people aboard the ship.  I found it so heartbreaking reading the names of those who died, especially the children.  There was a small pool of water in the museum being held at 28* in which you could stick your hand and see how long you could keep it there.  The people on the Titanic had no choice but to sit in this frigid water and wait to be rescued or die waiting.  Seth was able to keep his hand in it for the full 3 minutes on the timer.  I couldn't quite make it to 15 seconds.  I enjoyed touring the Titanic museum and would like to go back and visit longer.

Ruth and Reuben recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary!

It was a great time.  We had a lot of fun.  We picked up right where we left off.  Even J bonded with them as if we had never been apart.  Not sure when we'll make it back to Branson and they are so busy with the business that it is very difficult for them to get away.  We both said we would make an effort to visit each other.

For now, it's back to school.  New schedules, new routine, new adventures.

K, first day of 6th grade.

J, first day of 7th grade.

My 2 middle schoolers!

Little A beginning 2nd grade at home.

Until next time....

10 VBS skits done and still going!

We moved to Wichita almost 13 years ago.  In August of 2004, we started attending Westside Bible Chapel.  The following spring, I was approached about helping with their Vacation Bible School.  I really wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I attended the planning meeting where everyone discussed the theme and how to pull everything together.  My only experience with a VBS was attending a few as a kid, so I just sat and listened.  A little bit later, Jennifer, who was in charge, looked at me and asked if I could write a skit.  I'd written some very small skits in the past, but I thought I could handle this, so I agreed.

That's how my journey as the VBS skit-writer began.  I can't believe I've written 10 skits for our VBS program!  Of course, they started out small, but have now turned into somewhat large productions.  I don't remember how our practices started out.  Now, we begin about 2 months before VBS begins.  We practice every week during prayer meeting, have a dress rehearsal the Saturday before, do a quick run-through on Sunday after the leadership training, and then practice each night before VBS begins.  When I started,  I really didn't know what I was doing.  I approached a few people who I thought would enjoy acting and this is how I met Chad Buchanan.  Some had told me to ask him about being in the skit.  I wasn't even sure who he was.  If it weren't for these skits, however, I'm sure I would have never really gotten to know Chad or others who have been involved in the skits these last 10 years.

I went to see if I could find all my old scripts.  Out of 10, I found 5.  I'm sure the others are on a disk from old computers.

I have this year's, obviously.  "Montana Smith and the Search for the Greatest Treasure Ever Created on Earth."  The theme was an Indiana Jones theme which we entitled as God's Chosen Treasure.

I also have "The Battle For the Crown" from 2013 which went along with the kingdom theme of Kingdom Under Construction.

And from 2012, I have "The Case of David Lamb" for our detective theme which I believe was called Truth Files Case 3:16.

The other 2 I found were older.  "A Journey West" was written for the western theme in 2006.  I was pregnant with Little A at the time.

Believe it or not, the 5th one is actually the very first skit we did.  In 2005, we did a Survivor theme and the skit was called "Survivor Island Campout."  I found it written out by hand on lined paper.  It was only a little over 13 pages long, compared to the 35-40 pages we do now.  And if it had been typed, it would have been even less pages!  I don't even have all of the characters written down.  This is basically my first draft and I hadn't even nailed down who was going to be in it.  There were 4 main characters and then about 9 other characters.  Everyone basically just used their own names.  Throughout this draft, the other characters are simply listed as "camper," "boy camper," or "girl camper."  On the back, I have names written down of those I thought would be in it.

Lynne, Jonathan, Tom, Emma, Susan, Hannah, Karin, and Nick.

If memory serves me correctly, Lynne was unable to participate due to her having the chicken pox.  And Daniel and John were also in it.

Tim the Trailman was Tim Skiles, Dan the Man was Danny Rudzitis, Rad Chad was Chad Buchanan, and I was Lieutenant Laura, who was also known as Lunatic Laura by the campers.

And that was it!  Most years, I have around 20 actors.  This year I had 15.  Still, only 13 or so our first year.  My, how far we've come!

The plot: On what was supposed to be a short canoe trip to a wooded area for a campout, Dan the Man gets the troops lost.  They find themselves on a deserted island and must use the resources they have to survive.  Not only will they find a way to survive this surprise campout, they will discover how faith in God is necessary in order to survive life.

Tim the Trailman was the leader of the castaways.  Encouraging and fun.  Knows when to be serious and when to goof around.

Dan the Man was the lifeguard and medic.  Loves to have fun and be crazy.  Tends to be over-dramatic.

Rad Chad was the boys counselor.  Takes everything lightly.  Loves having fun all the time.

Lieutenant Laura was the girls counselor.  Takes everything seriously.  Believes there is no time for fun.

At the beginning of the skit, we all enter onstage when Chad trips over a rock causing a domino effect  and everyone else falls down.  After VBS was over, everyone in the cast "signed" that rock and gave it to me.  I still have that rock, although all the names have faded.  It sits against the house near the front.

Chad's catch phrase was "Rock on!" and was used quite often throughout the skit.  He finally got my character to say it near the end.  At one point, Chad and Danny were to be throwing a football backstage and knocked me into the ocean.  In reality, I sat in the tub we use for baptisms and Chad poured a bucket of water on me.

I always see God working through these skits, too.  In the middle of this skit, everyone was out looking for berries to eat, but had to stay away from the poisonous berries.  Nearly everyone returns to the campsite only having found the poisonous kind.  Tim returns with a camper, who sees the berries, and out of sheer hunger, dives into them and eats some.  That camper ended up being played by Tom.  The result of eating those berries was a very itchy rash, which was revealed the following day.  On the last day of the skit, they have all been rescued and are returning to known land.  Tom's character was to make a few statements about eating the poisonous berry, but Tom's sister is Lynne, the one who had chicken pox.  So, guess what?  By the last night, Tom had the chicken pox and couldn't even come!  I had to make a quick re-write, which was quite easy.  Since he was the one who was poisoned, he had simply been taken by ambulance to a hospital while everyone else was just being checked out on shore.  God knew from the beginning that Tom would have the chicken pox and guided me to put Tom as the character to eat the poisonous berries.  Any other character would have been difficult to explain an absence.

Ah, the memories!  I look forward to writing more skits for VBS.  I always have fun with them and I love my cast every year.  And I miss those who have moved on with other things.  Next year, I'll be gaining a few newbies including my own son.  That will be an adventure!

Warning: There's a teenager in the house!

That's right.  I have a teenage son.  Am I really old enough for that?  It sure doesn't seem like it.  I swear I just graduated from college last week!

So, while I'm trying to wrap my brain about this fact, here's what we did to celebrate.

Since his birthday is during our Vacation Bible School, we kinda had to split it between 2 days.  But, we tried to do most of it on his actual birthday.  Everything was his choice until 4:30, then it was all VBS until 9:30ish.

The morning was nice and relaxed.  We had his favorite for lunch: pancakes.  I made special shapes for each of the kids.  J mostly picked things from the Xbox game Halo.  I thought I created those pretty well.  But, I took no pictures of lunch so you'll just have to take my word for it.

In the afternoon, we all got in our suits and headed to the pool.  It wasn't exactly a hot day for swimming, but it was nice.  And the pool was packed.  Thankfully, my kids can swim well enough that I don't have to get in with them.  I kept a close eye on Little A, however, since she's not quite to the point where I'm comfortable looking away for more than a few seconds.

J and K both went off the diving board.  All of them found new friends to play pool games with.  At one point, the lifeguards heard thunder so everyone was ordered out of the pool to wait for 15 minutes.  Then everyone could go back in.  I kept watching those darkening clouds.  This is one of those moments when I wish I had a smartphone.

Not long later, it started to lightly sprinkle.  I told the kids what time we needed to leave in order to get home, changed, and head to VBS.  About 15 minutes before that time, J said he was ready to go.  Great!  I hopped in the pool and swam a couple of laps (most of the kids had left by this point so the pool was not so crazy crowded).  Then, I told the girls it was time to go.

As we drove back home, it was raining lightly.  We got inside, changed our clothes, and then it just downpoured.  Heavy heavy rain....and we had to drive across town to VBS.

It was an adventurous drive to say the least.  Roads were dangerously flooded and if I did not have my SUV, I probably wouldn't have driven it through those deep puddles all down the road.  At one point, I looked in my rear-view mirror to see that the water was up to the headlights of the car behind me.  Others were struggling to make it to VBS also as it continued to get worse.

By the time VBS actually started, I think the rain had stopped.  We drove home on clear roads after another great evening.

We decided to let J open his presents that night and do his cake and ice cream.  It meant for a late night, but that's ok.  It's summer and we're night owls.  We'd probably be up that late anyway.

Saturday was the day we would finish celebrating with an evening at HuHot.  We love that place!  The cooks at the grill sang to him as we stood in line while they grilled our food.

And that was the end of his celebrations.

Just before turning 2, he became a big brother.

A few years later, another sister came along.

He was quite a helper.

And he recruited his sisters to join him.

They always had fun together.

He also has fun with his cousins.

His first year at camp.

This year at camp.

His first day of kindergarten.

After finishing 6th grade, he had earned several awards including these for the JROTC.  He was voted to be the Vice Commander next year.  OOH RAH!!!

 He is growing up into an amazing young man of whom I could not be more proud.  He has accomplished great things and I know as long as he continues to trust His Savior, he will accomplish many more.

Happy 13th birthday, J!  I love you!