Birthdays

I didn't want to grow up.  As a kid, I wanted to stay a kid.  I wanted to play as a kid.  I didn't want to grow up and have responsibilities.  And then, I did.  I grew up - well, in some ways.

(That's me in the blue with my 3 sisters)

I went to high school.

Went to prom.

Went to college.

Fell in love.

Got engaged.

Got married.

Had 3 children of my own.

Whoa!  I have kids?

Sometimes I just sit and am amazed at how my life turned out.  It happened so fast.  I remember looking out the window as a kid wondering what my life would be like when I was in my 20s.  The 30s seemed so far away, I don't think I got that far in my thinking.  Just yesterday, it seems, I was playing Barbies with my sisters. 

Or I was cruising the square with my friends in high school.  Or I was hanging out at my friends' house several miles away from home, hoping to find an excuse to break curfew - like losing my keys.  Which did happen.  Only because as we were leaving, we were attacked by the guys in the snow and my keys got buried.  Fun times!

And now, I am the mother of 3 children.  I've been married for 13 1/2 years.  I live in a city.  A CITY!  This small town girl never expected that.  Ever.  And today I turn 34 years old.  That's right.  I said it.  I didn't even lie about my age.  I'm in my mid-30s!  Where has the time gone?

I didn't used to think it was a big deal to get older.  I didn't understand why people complained about getting older and having another birthday.  I always said, "You're only as old as you feel."  And to me, I thought I would always feel 20.  Then I turned 25.  That number really changes your perspective on getting older.  I was no longer in my early 20s.  I was right up there knocking on 30.  I was somewhere between a young adult and a regular adult.  25 meant that staying up late and functioning the next day was probably not an option.  25 meant I was no longer considered "fun" and "cool" and "young" by the younger crowd - AKA teens.  25 meant that not only was I old enough to drink, I now LOOKED old enough to drink.  I was quite appalled the first time I was offered alcohol at a restaurant on my birthday.  The only thing that ran through my head was, "You mean I LOOK like I'm at least 21?!?"  Of course, I was older but to actually look old enough just about killed me.

So what.  I'm getting old.  Everybody does.  I have definitely aged in my looks. 

And it really hits me when I see someone from way back when and I notice how they have aged.  It makes me realize that we all are getting old!  Funny thing, though.  As much as I hated it between the ages of 25 and 31, I don't mind now.  I am learning to enjoy my life as it is right now.  I am learning to enjoy my kids in the stages they are in.  I am learning to just love life.  Because this is how God has blessed me.  I may not have wanted children, but God blessed me with 3 absolutely amazing kids.  I may have thought I would have been fine being single, but God blessed me with the absolutely best husband in the world.  I may not have ever seen myself as a stay-at-home mom, let alone a homeschooling mom, but God blessed me with the ability and desire to do so.

34 and still going.  I may be a little slower.  I may be turning into my mother.  I may have my days when I wonder "what if."  But all in all, I am enjoying my life.  And so far, I am enjoying being 34.  Although this minute, right now, 10:01am, is the exact time I was born so I've only been 34 for a few seconds.  I know it will be a great year.  God's blessings are endless.