Funny how that works...

I was getting into a good groove.  I'm not the best homemaker on the planet.  In fact I'm probably not even in the top 500.  Since I never wanted to be a homemaker, wife, and mother, it is a daily struggle for me to do this job that God has given me.  Nevertheless, when I choose to be joyful in my work, I can actually like it.

So, I felt I was doing a pretty good job.  I have been learning that it's ok if something doesn't get finished.  If I just keep at it a little at a time, it WILL get finished eventually.  I have been learning to not stress about what isn't done or what can't be done or what to do if we get thrown off schedule unexpectedly (really, when does that happen expectedly?).  I created a plan for the kids and myself of what should be done on a daily basis, weekly basis, and monthly basis.  Some things didn't get done, some things were harder to do than others, but I was feeling like something was getting accomplished and I was slowly putting my house together the way I wanted it.

And it always seems to happen when I'm doing so well in this area.  Something not only throws me off schedule but throws me completely out of rhythm to the point that I can't get back on in a day or two.  Often times it's an illness.  Not this time.  This time I decided to hurt my back.  Ok, *I* didn't decide to do this, obviously, but somehow, God thought this was a good time to allow my back to endure some sort of a charlie horse and keep me from doing my normal activities for a week.

Well, it hasn't been a week, but it might as well be at this point.  It will be difficult to catch up on missed chores and schoolwork, especially if I'm still not 100% yet.  Whatever God's purpose is in all of this, I completely trust Him.  If I didn't, I'd be really stressed out.  Letting go of whatever is on my mind and letting God handle everything gives me peace.  I don't have to be in control because He is.  I don't have to worry about how things are going to get done, because He knows.  I don't have to stress out about getting behind, because He already knew I would face this problem and has planned out my steps for me.  Isn't He just an awesome God?

Still, in my human thinking, this is just a bad time for me to be laid up.  Or not able to accomplish tasks to my full capabilities.  Starting Friday, my summer hits in full swing.  And my husband wants to add something else on Saturday - I'm trying to convince him otherwise.  It's not working.  That's ok, what's one more event that would force me into really cleaning my house in my current injured state?  From this weekend on, I will be running around with multiple things dashing through my head all at once until August.  Then, I can breathe.  For 3 weeks.  Then school starts again.  That's the usual routine for my summers though.

I just keep thinking, with all the stuff I have going on in the next few months, I don't have time to mess with a sore back.  But, it's not like I was already behind and my house was already a horrendous mess.  We were doing ok - I could almost accept drop-in visitors without embarrassment.  But, as it always seems, just as I get on a good roll, something disrupts it.  God just wants to make sure I'm still trusting Him even when things are going well.  Funny how that works.

Shopping, Shoes, and Me

I have never been a huge shopper.  I'm not one of those "girlie girls" who has to have a different pair of shoes for each outfit with a purse to match.  I don't feel the need to go shopping when I'm depressed.  In fact, I hated shopping growing up.  And that hatred extended into adulthood.

I'm sure my hatred for shopping started when our family's shopping trips for new clothes was an entire day of going from store to store in Des Moines which was an hour's drive away from home.  Oh the boredom!  Trying on shoes, trying on shirts, trying on jeans, etc.  And when I wasn't trying things on, somebody else was - which was even worse!  Long, slow, boring day ending with a late night arrival back home.  What made the trip a little worth it was that sometimes, my dad would decide to take us to Showbiz Pizza.  You know, what is now called Chuck E Cheese?

Even in high school, I dreaded shopping.  I didn't understand how other girls, including my sister, enjoyed going shopping.  I remember taking one of those trips to Des Moines while one of my sister's friends from college was visiting.  We arrived at a store and my mom told me to go pick out a pair of jeans to try on.  I walked into the jeans section and just stared.  I was completely lost!  I had no idea what to do, how to pick out jeans, what I liked, what would fit, how many to try on....too many decisions.  And I am just not great with making decisions and I often get overwhelmed when faced with decisions.  Thankfully, my sister's friend came to my rescue.  She helped me pick out jeans for me to try on.  I'm assuming the trip was a success, but I honestly don't remember what happened after that.

While in college, I still didn't enjoy shopping.  I never went out to get new clothes except once.  A few of us girls went out and picked out dresses for our banquets.  I bought a beautiful long black dress with a slit up the side.  But this didn't give me shopping fever.  My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, enjoyed shopping more than I did.  Oh the boredom!!  (Did I say that already?)  Yes, he dragged me shopping and I hated it.  I like to know what I want, go to one store, get what I need, and get out.  No window shopping, no looking around, no dilly dallying of any kind.  Ugh...just get me out of this store!

Would you believe my feelings started to change eventually?  And guess when that happened.  When I was pregnant with my first girl.  Funny how that works.  All of a sudden, I had this urge to shop.  Even though the doctor said it was likely a boy, I knew it had to be a girl because I wanted to shop.  This urge became stronger with my last pregnancy - also a girl.  And by this time, maternity clothes were pretty cute which made my desire to shop even stronger.  I started browsing maternity racks in every store...but still not enough to buy anything.  I was a newbie at this feeling and I really didn't know how to handle it.  This doesn't just apply to clothes.  I generally don't like to spend money on myself unless absolutely necessary.  It was while I was pregnant with my 2nd girl that I actually spent money on myself, on my own, with no one there to urge me to go ahead.  I stopped at a Wendy's and bought myself a Frosty.

Ok, stop laughing.

Yes, this was  a HUGE deal to me.  I would have never done this sort of thing before.  I was excited to tell my husband about it - my very first splurge on myself.  What did these girls do to me?!?!

Now that my youngest is 5, I still have that shopping urge in me.  Every year my sisters, mom, grandma, and I try to get together for a girls' weekend, which of course includes shopping!  And instead of dreading it or hating it, I'm excited for it.  I plan what I want to buy and where to buy it and I have fun when the others are shopping for what they want and I'm just watching - or giving advice.  I think that helps make it fun.  Because, well, being that I didn't start out a shopper, I'm not really keen on what's in and what's not.  My husband tells me what I look good in.  My sisters tell me what is in style and looks good on me.  I can't lose.

More and more, I am finding myself wanting to shop.  I stare at the clothes at Walmart when I'm there for groceries.  I even have a favorite store - Gordman's!  I LOVE that store!!  It actually takes effort not to try something on when I'm in that store.  I'm also realizing that I may be fascinated with shoes.  I want to try on more shoes and have more shoes!  Even bags and purses are becoming attractive.  Really, what is wrong with me?  And do you know what I spent my time doing this evening?  Designing clothes.  DESIGNING!  I think maybe watching Project Runway has something to do with that.  But, wow, that is fun!  And earrings.  Yep, I even designed some earrings.  I've had a couple of earring ideas in my head and I actually saw one pair of earrings at the Women's Fair that I was picturing in my head.  So, I didn't design them, but they were exactly what I was wanting - so of course I bought them!  I didn't even second guess it.  Can you believe that?  I don't even second guess some of my purchases any more.  Scary!  Ok, some I do second guess, but usually, I know what I want and what I like and if I have the money, I'll spend it.

Since I'm a fairly new shopping-for-fun convert, I hope I don't become one of those shoppaholics.  Yikes.  So, who's up for a trip to Gordman's with me?  I think I may need some new shoes.

His Purpose

Today, being Good Friday, I have been thinking about what Jesus endured on the day He died.  He knew He would have to die a horrible death.  There was no way out of it - unless He chose to not save His creation.  But He couldn't do that.  His love is much bigger than the pain He had to suffer.  He was born for one purpose - to die in order that we could be saved.

Fully God and fully man, Jesus chose to allow Himself to be beaten, to be torn, to be broken.  He endured pain that I, myself, cannot even fathom.  And that was just the physical pain.  He had to carry the burden of all the sins of the world.  The burden of my own sin is heavy enough for me, but He bore everyone's sin on that cross.  From the fall in the Garden of Eden to the end of the world, every sin was layed upon Jesus.  He suffered the guilt and shame as He carried my sin to that cross.  And His own Father had to turn away from Him.  God the Father could not see His Son covered in so much sin.  Jesus BECAME SIN.  God the Father, being perfect, had to forsake God the Son.  Jesus suffered physical, spiritual, and emotional pain for me.

Yet, He still showed His love.  "Forgive them," He said, as He hung on that brutal cross.  Slivers of wood punctured further into his back which was already raw from the bone-tipped whips of the soldiers.  He was unrecognizable.  Thorns pressed further into His forehead.  Large nails held His arms and feet in place.  And He hung there, in agony, barely able to breathe and He still said, "Forgive them..."  This is my God!  He had so much love for me.  He pushed aside the pain and chose to die in my place on that cross.

I deserve that punishment.  I deserve hell.  I am a sinner without excuse.  But Jesus chose to take that sin and bury it.  He chose out of His love for me to endure the punishment Himself so that I wouldn't have to.  Jesus took MY place on that cross.

This was His purpose.  He came, born as a baby, to die.  No one else can say that.  No other god has done that.  Jesus, my Lord, my Savior, my God, did.  I can do nothing but live for Him.  That is my purpose - to bring glory to God in all I do.  Do I fulfill that?  Hardly.  I'm still a sinner.  But, because I have chosen to serve God, I am forgiven.  Not because of my good deeds, but because I have let Jesus take the fall for me.

Why is today so "good" then?  Because if Jesus hadn't chosen to die, we would all be headed to hell.  I would go to hell.  It is good that Jesus died.  It was the joy that was set before Him.

His purpose was to die for me.  My purpose is to live for Him.

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Facing our Fears

I don't have your "normal" fears.  There are 3 phobias that plague me.  One - stinging insects.  This is one of the reasons why I hate summer.  (Yes, I HATE summer!)  When I was about 5 years old, I was stung by a large bee on my eyelid while on vacation.  Since having children, I have tried to face that fear so my kids don't have the same phobia.  It hasn't worked very well.  Partially because I still panic when I see one.  This includes bees, wasps, hornets, etc.  I must say that I am doing better around them than I was 5 or 6 years ago.

My second phobia - people with rubber bands.  I don't trust them.  My actual fear is that they will shoot the rubber band and blind someone when it snaps in someone's eye.  I am not sure what this fear stems from, but I have a feeling it's something my mom said when we were kids.  (Similar to the popular "you're gonna shoot your eye out" from The Christmas Story).  You will not find rubber bands in my house.  If you do, I was either unaware that we had it or it belongs to a game.  I throw rubber bands that enter my house away.  I haven't even tried to face this fear.  I just get rid of the ability to shoot them.

My third phobia - holding hot drinks around active kids.  When my son was just over a year old, we went on a hayride.  Afterwards, hot chocolate was served.  I was holding J while drinking my hot chocolate.  As I lifted the cup to my mouth for a sip, J hit the bottom of the cup throwing the hot chocolate into my face.  I had blisters and spent the rest of the evening with a cold wash cloth on my face.  For a few years, I literally shook in fear whenever a small child came near me while I was drinking something hot.  Nowadays, I'm not quite as scared, but I'm still very nervous.

Yesterday, my daughter, K, faced one of her fears and conquered it.  There's a McDonald's with a PlayPlace that we sometimes go to for fun.  It wasn't my plan yesterday but Chick-Fil-A was way too packed so off to McDonald's we went instead.

Here it is: the PlayPlace.  See that meshed or netted area on the right?  That is what kept K from sliding down the yellow slide.  Crossing that mesh was the only way to get to the yellow slide.

It's not the height.  All 3 of my kids had no issues climbing to the top in order to go down the green slide.  You can see J up there here.

Little A was just fine with the height of the green slide and the mesh leading to the yellow slide. 

 As shown below.

I remember when Little A wasn't quite big enough to climb these steps.

She wanted so badly to climb them and go down the slides.  Little A has no fear!

We have been to this particular PlayPlace several times and each time, K crawls up to the mesh, tries a step, then backs out.  On this particular day, J was having a hayday with it, calling her a scaredy cat.  This caught on with the other kids who got confused and started calling Little A a scaredy cat.  She was a bit upset with this because it wasn't her who was scared, it was K.  After a bit, K became extremely frustrated as J wouldn't let it go.  I finally had to tell J to quit.  Once he did, the other kids quit too.  But, I think all this torment just pushed her to face her fear head on.

She climbed up, put her foot out there and...

...suddenly she was across.  But in order to get to that yellow slide, she had to cross not 1, but 2 mesh areas.

But she faced it and conquered it.  She was able to go down the yellow slide several times after this.

She is very proud of herself.  I'm proud of her, too.

Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:13 "For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you.' "

Sunday Funday!

Normally Sundays aren't so fun for me.  We get up early to go to church - which I really don't mind most weeks.  I love our church, so do my kids and Seth.  It's the AWANA club in the evenings, which my kids really enjoy going to, that kills Sunday for me.  In case you don't know what AWANA is, it is a club where kids come and learn Bible verses for prizes.  Of course there's games and singing and snacks and a Bible message.  But the club is for Bible verse memorization.

Anyway....

Since we live on the other side of town, it's really hard to travel 20-25 minutes to church in the morning, back home for a late lunch.  Have a short afternoon then back to church for AWANA.  By the time we get home from AWANA it's after 7:30 so supper is often late and bed time is late.  It's hard but it is well worth it to have my kids memorize Scripture.

Yesterday, there was no AWANA due to the fact that most of the area schools were on spring break.  We had a very restful afternoon.  It's started out with a yummy potluck at church and our Easter choir practice afterwards.  I always enjoy our fellowship dinners.

Seth needed to get some sleep so he took a nap.  It was a nice day...warm even, so the kids took our puppy out and played in the sprinkler.  I took the opportunity to get through some of bins that have been clogging up my laundry room.  I had been saving every kind of paper that came to our mailbox that looked remotely important.  Turns out, I didn't need to be.  I searched online and found a list of what to keep and for how long.  I printed it off and used it as my guideline as I sorted and sorted and sorted through all of my bins labeled "important papers."

As I was in the middle of multiple piles and a huge bin full of papers in front of me, Seth got up from his nap and said he was gonna go out to a friend's place to shoot his guns.  All 3 kids got their shoes on to go with him, which was fine with me.  This way I could get my project finished without being hassled by the kids.  I'd still get hassled by the puppy, though.

However, sweet little A realized I would not be joining them and was absolutely heartbroken.  I don't know the last time I saw her cry so hard, face covered in tears.  We didn't understand why she wanted me to come so badly but how could I say no to such a strong desire to be with her mommy?  So, I deserted my project and walked out the door.

Our friend was there with his guns and he, Seth, the older 2 kids, and myself took turns shooting the guns.

After a couple of hours, it was time to head home.  Actually, it was time to eat.  We stopped at Arby's for supper and check ourselves for ticks in the bathrooms.  We already caught 3 while we were out shooting and found 1 more in the bathroom.

As we were leaving the shooting area, we discovered why little A wanted me to come so badly.  We have gone camping there a few times and she thought that we would be camping there again.  When she realized we weren't staying, she became upset again.  Not crying as badly as before, but still very sad.  That explained why she was so heartbroken over me not coming in the first place.  She thought she was leaving me for an entire night and she wouldn't see me until morning.  Sweet little girl.

We enjoyed our meal at Arby's and came home.  We played with Rambo who had been fenced in all day (we have a small area where he has toys, food and water, and a potty pad next to his crate fenced off from the rest of the living room).  Then it was bath time for the kids and bedtime.

I got back to my project and made it through a total of 2 1/2 bins of papers.  I bagged up each of my piles and placed them in an empty bin while the other bin I had already cleaned out was now full of papers that need to be shredded.  I have a half a bin left then my paper trays full of the most recent mail piled up on my end tables.  Then I can file them appropriately and maybe stay organized as new mail arrives.  One can only hope.  :)

Fun and Medicine?

I have an 8-year-old daughter and it probably comes as no surprise at all that she is a bit of a drama queen.  Everything seems much worse than it actually is.  Today, she put on quite a performance.  She had burned her fingers earlier this evening, basically due to the fact that she wasn't listening to her dad.  All the rest of the evening she carried a cup of cold water to put her fingers in.  By the time she needed to get ready for bed, she had blisters.  I got out the Aloe Vera gel and bandaids so she wouldn't feel the need to take a cup of water to bed with her.  Because, obviously, that just wouldn't work.

She saw the bottle of green gel and began screaming bloody murder.  Ok, not quite bloody murder.  That actually came later.  She had suddenly put herself in a horror film and the Aloe Vera was her cryptonite.  It was like I was going to dump a bunch of spiders on her.  Or she would be sleeping with snakes.  Or birds came flapping through the window attacking her head.  Drama.  Queen.

"I'm fine with the bandaids...but not THAT!"  boo hoo hoo.  Yep, the girl deserves an Emmy.

I finally had to force her fingers out of the cup of water, dry them off, and I put just a teeny tiny bit of the Aloe Vera on her 2 blistered fingers.

More screaming.  But not yet bloody murder screaming.

"It stings!!!  It stings!!!"  I blew on them and then covered them with bandaids.

The next several minutes involved her rolling on the floor, then onto the couch, then back to the floor.  Screaming...yes, now bloody murder...and bawling.  Waaaay over the top here.  She may give Jim Carrey a run for his money.

I told her that she was thinking about it too much.

"Maybe if I could have some ice cream..."

I could not hold in the laughter any longer.  Sorry girlie, you're not getting any ice cream.  An applause for such an amazing dramatic performance.  But no ice cream.

More screaming, bawling, rolling on the floor.

"I just want to rip my arm off!!"

More laughter from me....and from older brother in the next room.

Finally, I asked what the pain felt like.  I knew she was in some pain, just not as much as she was portraying.  She said she could feel her heart beat.  Well, that meant the bandaids were too tight so I offered to take them off.

She agreed, but I had to do it carefully.  I did my best, but she still gave me screams.  The bandaids came off and she ran to get herself another cup of water.

And....scene.  Take a bow, dear.

Time for Act II.  This time, I'm the main character.  (Were you wondering where she got her drama from?)

My eyes had been giving me some issues so I bought over-the-counter eye drops which have helped.  Previously, my left eye had been the problem.  Today I woke up with my right eye sealed shut.  Awesome.  K had been my eye dropper since I just couldn't do it myself.  Tonight, however, I said each of my 3 kids could give me 1 drop.

I lied down on the floor.  And battle ensues.

"Mom keep your eye open!!"

"I'm trying!!"  I tried to focus on A, but she wasn't helping.  "Show me a silly face."

"Why?"

Drop into my hair.  "Moooommm!!"

"Sorry!"

The longer this takes, the more I get to laughing.  And who can really laugh with their eyes open?  Yep, that just added to the problem.  Which lead to more laughter.

Finally, after getting drops on my cheek, eyelid, and the actual bottle smacking me in the eyebrow, K got a drop in.

Then J took his turn.  I looked at A again for support, this time she knew what I needed her to do.  However, J didn't quite get the hang of it.  First he placed the dropper right in front of my eye so I couldn't even see around it.  And when I told him it was too close, he stood up and held it a few feet above me.  Well, that's not gonna work!  He found a happy medium.

And...drop...right in my eye.

A got her drop in on the first try without much of a fight.

So, with my eyes running with tears of laughter and eye drops, I thanked the kids and sent them to bed.

Curtain closed.

It's VBS season!

This is the time of year my focus becomes our VBS.  I have blogged about the VBS before but that is what is on my mind and will be until VBS is over.  And then we all kinda start brainstorming for next year.  lol  I'm very excited about this year's theme and certain scenes for the skit have been running through my mind.  However, since I depend on the speaker's notes and main Bible verses to write the skit, I have to wait.  And that part just drives me crazy!  No, I'm not going to tell you the theme just yet.  :)

This year, I wasn't sure if I would even get to be involved at all because there's something bigger going on this summer.  Yep, bigger than VBS.  My sister is getting married and since that pretty much trumps everything, I was telling people last summer that my involvement may be very limited this year.  Well, they wouldn't have that.  "We can't have a VBS without you, Laura!" was something that one of the VBS planners had told me.  So, we quickly got together and figured out a week when I would be here AND my absence wouldn't hugely disrupt our rehearsals.

Normally, I am the most excited about the skits.  I get others excited as I develop their characters and let them know my plans.  This year, after asking one of my main actors if he could take the lead again this year, his excitement went through the roof.  He came running up to me telling me everything he wanted to do with his character and what he wants to wear.  He was almost more excited that I am.  Which is a good thing!!  I like that my actors are excited and are planning their parts, characteristics, and costumes, even before I really have the skit written.  Sure, I provide the storyline, conversations, and the basics of entering and exiting when and where.  But my actors, all of them, throw in their own personalities and with their ad libs and commitment, the skits become much bigger and better than I ever imagined.

I LOVE this time of year.  I let my creativity run free, even though it keeps me up at night.  I love how everything comes together for VBS.  Not just for skits, although that in itself amazes me.  But how everyone of different talents come out of the woodwork and God uses each of these talents to create this incredible week of fun, crafts, songs, games, and learning about Jesus.  VBS is the time of year where we can see the body of Christ working together for the Lord.  Some years, if not every year, we get down to the week before VBS and we wonder how we're going to pull it off.  But God does it.  Every year.  It's so awesome to watch God work!

So, if you will be in the Wichita area and want your kids to enjoy our VBS, mark your calendar for July 23-27.  It's going to be a fun one and we would love to have your kids join us!